My Food Does Not Need to Tell Me I’m “Looking Good”

Dear readers, you may have noticed that it has been several months since I last updated this blog. That’s awesome, actually. That’s what I want. Because that means I’m eating normal grown-up human food.

Alas, those days are gone. Back to liquids, soups, and purees for me. Ugh.

There hasn’t been a lot of baby food at my local discount grocer’s lately, but there have been soup and nutritional shakes, so that’s what we’ve got. Makes me feel more adult, anyway.

So first up, we have CalNaturale’s Svelte nutritional shake.


My town’s Grocery Outlet has had 18-count cases of this stuff for $14.99, which is a ridiculously good deal for this sort of thing. I’ve been stocking up even without knowing how it tastes, because even if it tastes like ass, it’s cheap and will keep me alive. Besides, it’s already got a bunch of things in its favor: it’s organic, it’s vegan (because yet another health condition has forced me to drop all milk products from my diet as well), and it’s got a lot of protein and vitamins. Things not in its favor: it only comes in vanilla (at least at the discount grocer’s), it’s only 180 calories, and it’s clearly designed as a weight loss supplement. But whatever, it’s 83 cents a carton, I can’t complain that much. So how’s it taste?


Well, it doesn’t really look that appetizing. It looks like bull semen and seems to have a strange consistency. However, since it comes in an opaque box, I don’t really have to look at it. And actually…it tastes pretty good for a nutritional shake, kind of like a slightly grainy vanilla milkshake. The graininess is really minimal for a vegan protein shake, too. So I think I’ll be going back for another case of this stuff. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

I’ve also been stocking up on soup, preferably stuff with really squishy noodles so that I can experience the sensation of chewing something. Today’s offering is Trader Joe’s brand rice noodle soup in mushroom flavor.


Now, I am a pretty big fan of mushroom flavored things. The picture is pretty attractive, though I know better than to think a microwavable food will look the same as the packaging. I’m alarmed by the corn, as to me, corn is death, but hopefully I can pick it out. Once I’ve unpacked it, it appears that, yes, I can easily pick out the corn before cooking it.


Okay, still looks pretty tasty, though I don’t think I added enough water, as there was very little broth. It smelled like mushrooms, but it mostly tasted like a salty, slightly superior instant ramen. Nothing exciting, but palatable for 99 cents a package. It’s only 280 calories, though, so after breakfast and lunch, I’ve only managed to consume 460 calories, so I’d better start hitting the fruit juice.