Calling Your Food “Happy Baby” Seems Presumptive to Me

Well, it’s opening week of the play I’m in right now, which means a daytime liquid diet to prevent onstage stomach cramps. I stocked up on baby food last week in preparation.

So here’s my dinner prior to tonight’s dress rehearsal: HappyBaby Organics Clearly Crafted Carrots, Strawberries & Chickpeas.

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So first off, that’s a really long name for a food. Secondly, this is a highly dubious-sounding flavor combination. When I think “chickpeas” I think “hummus,” and when I think “hummus” I do not think “strawberries.” Thirdly, what the hell does “clearly crafted” even mean?

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Oh, it’s helpfully explained on the back of the package. So tonight I will be consuming one carrot, three strawberries, and thirty chickpeas. I note that this represents a much larger chickpea-to-strawberry ratio than I was expecting.

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This vegetable paste looks like it is mostly made of carrot and smells like it is mostly made of strawberries. Unfortunately, in keeping with this pattern, it also tastes like it is mostly made of chickpeas, with an unpleasantly grainy texture and a weirdly sour aftertaste. Why is it sour? Is that the strawberries? Wasn’t the point of the strawberries to make it taste good? I think that the people on the Happy Farm need to rethink the ratios in their “yummy recipe.” Those chickpeas add a whopping one gram of protein, so I don’t know that we need thirty of them.

Still, this is at least edible, and once the shock wore off about the sourness, I was able to finish the pouch without grimacing too much. Two out of five stars.

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