Miso Hungry…Ugh, I Can’t Believe I Made that Joke…

I’ve been trying to eat more soup during this bout of stomach malfunction so I can feel like a big girl, but baby food continues to be the only viable easy way for me to eat veggies. Today, while surrounded by a family munching on 4th of July dead cow patties, fried tortilla triangles, and a kale salad (of which I was admittedly very jealous), I lunched upon instant miso soup and baby food.

So I eat A LOT of miso soup. It’s easy to digest, it has a lot of protein, and it tastes pretty good. I LOVE ramen, but I can’t usually eat the instant stuff, since part of the instant ramen process involves flash-frying the noodle cakes, and fried food is one of my deadliest enemies. However, while I was at my local Asian market, I happened upon this weird “health” ramen called GreeNoodle.

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It cheerfully advertises the fact that it is both vegan and non-fried on the package, so I was already sold, but the noodles are also made of some kind of wacky veggie called moroheiya. The label proudly proclaims that it is “high of fiber” and that “each package contains approximately 15 Moroheiya leaves,” which seems like a weirdly specific thing to brag about, but whatever. For ramen, it DOES contain a lot of vitamin A and iron, as well as 8 grams of protein, and I need all of the nutrients I can get.

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The soup looked appetizing enough once prepared, and it smelled like ramen all right. The noodles are green, but sort of speckled. I was unhappy to discover small pieces of seaweed in the soup, but I was able to fish them all out with my chopsticks without accidentally eating any (seaweed: another of my deadly enemies). This shit is good. As far as instant ramen goes, this is most certainly the best I’ve tasted. It still has a ramen-level of sodium in it – 790mg – but sodium is like the only thing I don’t have to worry about. 5/5. I’m getting more of this.

Then it was on to some baby food so I could get my fruit and veggies on. Fred Meyer had the sleepy bumble bee bullshit on sale, so I picked up Carrot & Apple flavor, figuring that no one could possibly fuck up Carrot & Apple.

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It even looked fairly appetizing, like a pale orange apple sauce.

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It actually tasted pretty good, like a vaguely carrot cake-flavored apple sauce. It’s not an exciting flavor, but it’s perfectly palatable, and it has 50% of a baby’s required vitamin A, which is…probably an okay amount of vitamin A? I don’t know, I’m not up on adult-to-baby nutrition ratios. 4/5. Not amazing, but tasty enough that I’d eat it again.

This was a pretty good lunch, all considering.

My Food Does Not Need to Tell Me I’m “Looking Good”

Dear readers, you may have noticed that it has been several months since I last updated this blog. That’s awesome, actually. That’s what I want. Because that means I’m eating normal grown-up human food.

Alas, those days are gone. Back to liquids, soups, and purees for me. Ugh.

There hasn’t been a lot of baby food at my local discount grocer’s lately, but there have been soup and nutritional shakes, so that’s what we’ve got. Makes me feel more adult, anyway.

So first up, we have CalNaturale’s Svelte nutritional shake.

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My town’s Grocery Outlet has had 18-count cases of this stuff for $14.99, which is a ridiculously good deal for this sort of thing. I’ve been stocking up even without knowing how it tastes, because even if it tastes like ass, it’s cheap and will keep me alive. Besides, it’s already got a bunch of things in its favor: it’s organic, it’s vegan (because yet another health condition has forced me to drop all milk products from my diet as well), and it’s got a lot of protein and vitamins. Things not in its favor: it only comes in vanilla (at least at the discount grocer’s), it’s only 180 calories, and it’s clearly designed as a weight loss supplement. But whatever, it’s 83 cents a carton, I can’t complain that much. So how’s it taste?

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Well, it doesn’t really look that appetizing. It looks like bull semen and seems to have a strange consistency. However, since it comes in an opaque box, I don’t really have to look at it. And actually…it tastes pretty good for a nutritional shake, kind of like a slightly grainy vanilla milkshake. The graininess is really minimal for a vegan protein shake, too. So I think I’ll be going back for another case of this stuff. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

I’ve also been stocking up on soup, preferably stuff with really squishy noodles so that I can experience the sensation of chewing something. Today’s offering is Trader Joe’s brand rice noodle soup in mushroom flavor.

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Now, I am a pretty big fan of mushroom flavored things. The picture is pretty attractive, though I know better than to think a microwavable food will look the same as the packaging. I’m alarmed by the corn, as to me, corn is death, but hopefully I can pick it out. Once I’ve unpacked it, it appears that, yes, I can easily pick out the corn before cooking it.

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Okay, still looks pretty tasty, though I don’t think I added enough water, as there was very little broth. It smelled like mushrooms, but it mostly tasted like a salty, slightly superior instant ramen. Nothing exciting, but palatable for 99 cents a package. It’s only 280 calories, though, so after breakfast and lunch, I’ve only managed to consume 460 calories, so I’d better start hitting the fruit juice.